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If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. 
If Bungy, Smudge and Knocker go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

When the bill arrives, the lads will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. 
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs. 
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel . 
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

A woman has the last word in any argument. 
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. 
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. 
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. 
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. 
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. 
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing


  • edited May 16
    B) Really??!! >:)
  • oh so very true  o:)
  • I possibly agree with a couple of these.  EATING OUT... Whenever we had a works "do" at Wedgwood, one lady always came armed with calculator, pen and notepad!!  DRESSING UP... If I'm going to be seen in public, I have to put my lippy on, otherwise I look ill ;)
  • Bearing in mind that this is a joke post, I have to say I agree with the vast majority. :D
  • Perhaps this would be an appropriate place for a photo I took at a golf club this week.  There was no gentlemen's entrance, only the main entrance.

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